I feel my body has been used against me. Misrepresented and emptied of input. I want it to have some other meaning, different from what the physical presents - or simply get out of the way. I do not subscribe to the expectations imposed on my body. Therefore, what can supersede the representation of the body, especially in painting?
I want to separate the body, displace its parts, and break them down into declarations. Amongst these parts, is there a consensus of context? Perhaps these fragments can redefine themselves or become something entirely new. I want to create a hierarchy of care—of what I think is supposed to matter. Can the paint repurpose what is expected of us?
These figure's stance is an attitude of refusal. They are withholding. They save everything for themselves whether as protection or negation. Yet they are still there—as substance i.e the paint— and as a state of mind. Does a painting of a woman have to be the propagation of the feminine ideal—which typically has been inviting, giving, erotic and comforting—an expectation that perpetuates women as image. Perhaps the paint can be a placeholder for a different acceptance.
-Heidi Hahn, October, 2022